I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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