I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
