Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
