i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
