I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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