i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
