Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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