Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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