you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
