What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
