I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
