If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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