Sponge bath it is.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
