hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
