Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
