it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
