Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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