I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
