You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
