I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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