You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
