exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do vagina's smell?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
