there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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