And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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