Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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