I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
