I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
