Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
