your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
