dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
