As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
