I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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