Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
