goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
