Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
