How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
