i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
