So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
