I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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