I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
