What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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