Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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