If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
