Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
