No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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