fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
