Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
