Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
