He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
