LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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