Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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