I wish i was in the wii world.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
