i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
