the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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