definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
