Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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